In which Stevie and I share a meltdown.
Steve has always been a soft dog. We know this. From babyhood on up. But while he’s been timid with respect to strangers, to startling things popping up out of nowhere, to random chairs, he’s never ever shown any fear of me.
Until last Wednesday at agility class. We were warming up as usual, and all of a sudden, he was terrified of me. He stopped taking food from my hand, shied away, didn’t want to come near me. I was confused and bewildered at first. I took him outside and let him walk around to see if that would help. It didn’t. We went back in, and I let him off leash to attempt the exercise we were supposed to be working on (front and rear crosses around jump uprights) to see if the leash was the problem. It wasn’t. He would work for me happily (head up, eye contact, tail up, ears up) as long as I didn’t approach him or try to touch him. He’d still come in to me for a tug toy, and he’d take food if I threw it, but he wouldn’t come to me.
I sat on the floor and he laid down several feet away, sideways to me. I asked him to hand touch, because that’s an extremely strong behavior that’s gotten him through a number of scary experiences in the past (see above scary chair) but all he would do was crawl vaguely toward me and roll on his back.
The rest of the night went on pretty much the same– I worked him because he seemed comfortable working, I didn’t approach him, when I needed him, I drew him in with a tug toy and just kept tugging until I got him where I needed him to be.
It took him an hour after we got home before he’d come to me, but after that, he was the normal in-my-face-throw-my-ball collie we know and love. I did nothing with him Thursday or Friday- just played ball and lived life and didn’t push him.
Saturday we had obedience class, and the same thing went down. We got there early and played hard in the ring- tug and chase games. When class started, the first two exercises (three step heeling followed by sit and down stays) were fine. We were waiting our turn for the figure 8, just fooling around and playing quietly, when he checked out again. I just wanted to cry. My trainer had me sit and then lay down in the ring, but he would sit at the end of his leash with his back to me. He’d take food from her, but not from me. Finally I got out his tug and somehow he started tugging and I’d release him from the tug and feed him and he forgot himself and his fear and we were friends again, but it came and went through the rest of class.
At the very end of class, I made a mistake and grabbed his collar (he was shying away from me off leash and I couldn’t catch him, so when I had the opportunity to grab him I did- I should have used the tug but I didn’t) which sent him into Mommy Terror land again. My trainer had me sit and showed me some TTouch and massage to do with him, but I took off in tears, took him outside and walked as far away from the training building as I could, sat with him for awhile, then put him away and got out Luce for her class.
After Luce’s class (different trainer), I went and talked to Steve’s obedience trainer again, just to thank her for her help, and completely fell apart. Bless her heart, she just let me cry on her shoulder and talked to me and was sane and reasonable. She told me this is not something that I created, that I am not a harsh trainer and that I’m not doing anything “wrong”. He’s a soft dog, and something that wouldn’t bother a normal dog is bothering him, and we just need to figure out what it is, figure out a way around or through it, and see this as a gift that will help me become a better trainer. She has a gift for telling me what I need to hear.
I’m afraid I’m ruining this dog. I’m afraid I have no business owning a Border Collie. My sane, rational mind knows that’s not true- that he’s a happy pup at home, that there’s just something going on in training or at the club that has upset him, but if I could work through Luce’s issues, I can work through Steve’s as well. I love this little dog so much- he’s such a funny, sweet guy. To have him be afraid of me for any reason just breaks my freaking heart.
14 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Siren's Shiitake Happens Couch-Holder-Downer EX
Puppy Steve FDX
maybe you just need to take a break from training classes entirely for awhile? He is still a puppy after all..maybe he’s telling you that he feels pushed too much.
My goodness, you definitely deserved a meltdown at that point, it must have been tearing your heart out.
You didn’t ask for advice, but you give yourself free reign to feel whatever your feeling! Then you’ll be able to get down to the business of working through it with a fresh start. And you’re right, you WILL be able to do this.
Also bear in mind that he’s a teenager and teenagers can be moody and sulky! You are a great trainer and your dogs love you to pieces.
Look for a physical cause.
I would run a tick panel ASAP.
Have his hearing and eyesight evaluated.
And have someone who really knows canine movement and does bodywork evaluate him for a possible pinched nerve, muscle spasm, or other subtle but potentially painful ortho/soft tissue issue.
Poor Steve, and poor you! I understand that feeling… when we first got Jake he was very shy and jumpy about everything, and still can be sometimes. We’ve noticed that it tends to recur when something changes about our appearance or smell - I bought a new deodorant, and he was a bit skittish about it until I let him have one of my dirty shirts to sniff and roll on. Have you maybe changed your hair, or something that Steve’s unfamiliar with and unsure of?
Best of luck…
*hugs*
really, I mean it, big hugs.
If he’s getting nervous training, maybe it’s time for a break for a few sessions? I know you’ve been mentioning going pretty fast with him since he’s so bright. I know with gifted children they sometime have problems because they’re more intelligent than they are emotionally mature. Does the same thing apply to dogs?
But you probably don’t need more advice from strangers who don’t know your dog. Sorry sometimes I can’t help myself.
I am really curious what his breeder thinks of this, however.
This is just one more hurdle that you will handle beautifully!
He’s not afraid OF YOU; he’s stressed about something and it’s triggering a flight panic when you make certain moves. He probably did the same kind of thing when he was a baby and you’d reach for his head; he’s wired to jump back when he gets stressed or feels overwhelmed.
Try getting around behind him - literally. Try treating for allowing a butt touch or a back touch, or rewarding him for pressing his side into you. Faces are loaded objects for dogs; reaching toward faces, over faces, under faces, or with faces toward them ups the ante so much that he may be pressing the “tilt” button.
I ALWAYS run tick panels at the drop of a hat, so it’s not a bad idea, but I’d think about this behaviorally as well.
It could be as simple as a fear period as well. They can be hard to pinpoint but fear of things/people they weren’t afraid of previously is a sign. The good news for those is that they do pass.
I’m sure you will figure it out. If not he is in good hands and I’m sure you’ll figure out how to work it out or manage it.
I’m sorry you are going through the unexplained weirdness. It is so difficult when you cannot find the trigger. I hope it goes away as soon as it showed up.
Jen
Oh god, I am not surprised you had a meltdown! My Holly was an ex-abuse case, took months for me to reabilitate her, she went to my mother’s for just over a year (not due to me - she wasn’t legally mine at that point), was severely abused and neglected there, and when I bought her back she was screwed over all over again. Slightest rasing of volume in my voice or quick movement and she was cowering under a chair. It completely broke my heart. So I know from experience how awful it is to see it happening.
I have been following your blog a while now. I know a LOT of terrible pet owners and have reabilitated a lot of terrified animals in my life. Hell, I grew up with my mother, who is one of the worst pet owners I have ever known, and I’ve seen it all first hand. So let me tell you - you are NOT a bad owner. And don’t you dare even entertain the thought that you are. You can talk to the trainer, maybe see a vet and/or a behaviourist and sit down and work this out. And you will be fine. And Steve will be fine. And it’ll be ok.
As a sidenote I want to mention that I respect you immensely for the work you have done with pitbulls (and your ‘Save the pitbull, Save the World’ makes me happy every time I see it, as a big Heroes fan and pitbull lover). I actually own a pitbull, but here in England they are highly illegal, they and any staffie who can’t be proved by papers to be pure staffie and nothing else, are routinely killed and sent off to testing centres. So we call her a staffie. And we keep her quiet. And we walk her at 3am. After all the work I have done with her and all the difficulties I have had, you inspire me to keep going, you remind me that yes, we are making a goddamn different even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Because we are making a difference to that one specific dog.
So don’t you dare think you are not a good pet owner.
My random, vaguely creepy rant endeth here.
Just a quick note here [and a hug from SoCal]: you’re not ruining him; you’re a fine border collie owner; and border collies are dogs - brainy, quirky dogs that get weird notions sometimes, but just dogs.
I totally second Heather’s comment. These BC Boards posts came to mind - turned out it may have been meds or a physical thing, but the dog wound up fine IIRC.
Post:
http://www.bordercollie.org/boards/index.php?showtopic=10221
Another post:
http://www.bordercollie.org/boards/index.php?showtopic=10359
Teen fear period, maybe?
If he’s still intact, I wouldn’t recommend neutering him, but you know me and the “most male dogs are healthiest if not neutered” soapbox.
Do you have any plans to take him to sheep? Because in my admittedly limited experience [5 working border collies so far] sheep are the answer to everything, as long as his check-up is OK. He’s a good age to start on stock.
Good mojo for you both should be arriving any minute from your fellow pit bull & border collie person: it’s gonna be all right. Give the little dude a hug and a rub for me -
Luisa
Bless your heart! No advice, just hoping you figure it out and from all I’ve read, you are an awesome owner and you ruining a dog doesn’t really seem possible. Hang in there!
As a fellow “OMG, stuff is SCARING me” dog owner, I know how hard this can be, and how personal it can all feel. It is sometimes hard for me to accept that the ‘beaten dog’ behaviour that Tulie exhibits isn’t about *me*, it’s about her, and her responses to triggers that I sometimes don’t even notice.
So, hugs and another voice saying “You KNOW you’re a great owner, so hang in there”.