The saddest of good-byes.

I ended up having to take Trek back to the shelter. When the behaviorist came, she thought we would have a good shot at success if I could change both Steve and Trek’s reaction to one another. And I think that it would have worked, would have made a respectable difference. It was based in what I would have done / was doing anyway, but with other facets that I’d not considered, like asking Steve to hop up and then hop off the couch and immediately sit and give me his attention. Same with Trek.

But the very next day, Trek started gunning for Bean’s face. He had no reason. Bean doesn’t stare, Bean does everything he can to not make waves. I had been bitten at least ten times by that point, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.

It’s a horrible thing knowing that you can’t cope with a dog and that the other option is that he’s going to end up dead. Because no good and responsible shelter in its right mind is going to adopt out a dog with multiple bites to multiple dogs, and multiple bites to a human.

He did have good bite inhibition, I must say. The day he got my pinky finger straight on, I was sure I was going to lose it, but I walked away with just a small booboo. He didn’t break skin on Steve. He did lay open a part of Bean’s muzzle.

It was awful taking him back. It tasted of failure and regret. He was such an amazing dog. He had so much going for him. But he just couldn’t work in this household. Maybe it’s because he was male and he needs to live with girldogs. Maybe he needs to be his own dog. I don’t know. Whatever it is, I suspect it’s out of reach. I am pretty sure he’s dead.

My heart hurts so much. I feel so guilty for sending him to his death. But I had to make the right decision for the dogs already here, and I could never bare it if he did serious harm to one of my resident dogs just because I failed to act boldly enough.

Oh Trek, wherever you are, I wish you well. I hope you are safe. I hope you are happy. I hope the couches are comfy and the toys never-ending.

I am sorry I failed you.

Oh little man,  I hope you are safe and spoiled, whever you are.

Oh little man, I hope you are safe and spoiled, whever you are.

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3 Responses to The saddest of good-byes.

  1. Lindsay says:

    I am so, so sorry. You did all that you could and you have to protect the dogs already in your home (and yourself).

  2. Flo says:

    I’m so sorry. You did right by Bean, Steve and yourself. I do hope they re-list him as girldogs only, or only pet.

  3. Shannon says:

    My heart hurts for you. I read your post because the picture you posted looks like my Maggie, and I just wanted to say thank you for trying so hard to give Trek a loving home. I wish we could take more than one dog, but I am grateful there are people like you who can do it.

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